any quote here///
And this is my beautiful life
The only thing certain is everything changes
The lows and the highs
And all those goodbyes
As hard as it gets I know it's still amazing
To be alive
It's a beautiful life

.blog

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Something happened just now. Before this post,I wrote a long post about my late father,but my sis used the laptop and erased it.

After typing the post,I prayed. But my tears can't stop rolling down my cheeks. I just missed him soooo much. I only get to be with him for 3years plus,that's plus the time he layed on the bed fighting for his life. He's a very religious man. He liked to walk around telling and reminding people around him about Allah,about Islam. He prayed with his eyes motion when he can no longer move. Mum stayed strong and helped him through the whole thing. I remebered this one time she had to stay in the hospital with my father,and i had to go home with siblings. I cried so hard coz i didn't know any better. All I know is my mummy dont wanna go home with me.

When my he died,I didn't know anything. I just played with my cousins like nothing happened. Only when people started to carry his coffin,then i realised,he's gone. He's not gonna be here with us anymore. Now that I'm old enough,I thought,he didn't get to witness my growth to being a lady,a wife and a mother,InsyaAllah. He didn't get to see some of my good grades,my achievements. I've been jealous of people who still have their dads to hug,to kiss,to salam when he's off to work. I feel so empty. There's this one time,i saw my cousin saying goodbye to her father,I said "best nya dapat buat gitu". I never get to do that. When my brother-in-laws kiss and hug their children when they're off to work,i feel like,if only i can have that. But what can i do. Allah loves him more. Allah knows what he's doing. I just have to accept Qada' dan Qadar,his death. I feel so stupid,so selfish and so regretfull coz i didn't visit his grave this year just to celebrate my birthday.

Maafkan mira,Abah. Mira akan sentiasa doa kan kesejahteraan Abah. Semoga Abah dan semua keluarga kita ditempatkan bersama orang-orang mukminin dan solihin. Semoga kita semua senang menghadapiNya pada soalan kubur, di Padang Mahsyar dan di Jambatan Sirat. Aamiin Ya Rabbal 'Aalamiin.

MIRA RINDU ABAH. MIRA SAYANG ABAH. SEMOGA KITA BERTEMU DI SYURGA KELAK.INSYAALLAH.

# posted by mira at 9:53 PM